One study, published in Psychosomatic Medicine, found that women who held their emotions in check during fights with their husband were four times as likely to die during the 10-year study period as those women who got their feelings out. (Men who kept quiet weren’t affected in this way.) This tendency for women to silence themselves has also been linked to depression, eating disorders, heart disease and other health risks that may explain their increased risk of death.
The second study, in the Archives of Internal Medicine, found that being in an unhappy or unfulfilling relationship (whether married or not) raises your risk for heart attacks by up to 34 percent over a 12-year period. Even after removing other factors that could contribute to heart disease, such as depression, those in stressful, negative relationships still saw their risk for heart disease increase by 25 percent.
Because a happy relationship is clearly a key component of overall good health, all couples may benefit from an improved relationship. It can be as simple as reading a book on relationship building. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) recommends The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work, by J. M. Gottman and N. Silver, and Fighting for Your Marriage, by H. J. Markman, S. M. Stanley, and S. L. Blumberg.
Or it can mean seeing a couples therapist. When looking for a counselor, the AAMFT recommends asking if he or she has specific experience in couples therapy.
SOURCES: New York Times; WebMd.com; Archives of Internal Medicine, Oct.8 2007; AAMFT
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